17
Oct
09

Mr. Stamps Was Apprehended

A while ago, we believed that solicitors could be caring folks.  They knocked on our doors, even without city permits, and we responded in a kindly manner.  Heck, we thought these solicitors were trying to support good causes.

Clue Board Game

Then our faith was shattered, as it became clear that a series of “bad actors” were appearing and trying to case our homes.  This week, another bad actor named Donald Stamps knocked on doors and attempted to sell magazines as a ruse.

Some alert Montclarions were a bit suspicious about Stamps.  As instructed by Oakland police, these residents posted information about the solicitor to the Montclair SIC message board.  A few called and reported his whereabouts to the police as well.

And it worked, this time!  “We arrested these guys including the one mentioned,” said Police Officer Maureen Vergara, who covers beat 13Z.  “Keep calling them into our dispatchers; there have been numerous calls, all with excellent descriptions and locations.”

This is all well and good, but I can’t help thinking that Mr. Stamps sounds like a character from the “Clue” board game.  Was Colonel Mustard or Mrs. White in the drawing room, with the victim, while Mr. Stamps left the premises?

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